Lauren Cross' Art Blog

The Miseducation of Afrocentric Hair Video!

2011-02-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

So I just created this video called "The Miseducation of Afrocentric Hair". I was moved to create this piece for a number of reasons: First, I've been extremely inspired by the multiplicity of resources made available to create content on the web. Second, I've been looking for simple ways to communicate my present research ( the rhetoric of Afrocentric hair in social and new media) in a interactive way, and third, it is the cheapest way to make a film!

Believe it or not, the third reason is what won me over. I've made a total of 5 films in my career and so far this one took the least time, money, and effort! I can't say that the effort isn't just as effective, and I certainly put a lot of thought into it. I truly believe that xtranormal.com could be a great screenwriting tool (saves time on drawing your own storyboards and plus you get to hear your thoughts out loud). Sure, you could pay $200+ on screenwriting software, but the process here is much more intuitive. I've seen quite a few people make some great films using xtranormal.com, most of the films that I've seen discuss complex career choices and even the challenges within African American relationships. It seems like a great platform to put theories into practice, and receive direct dialogue from your ideas.

Nevertheless, the debate on Afrocentric hairstyles and its acceptance within the African American community has frequently been on my mind, as I'm asked almost daily about my natural hair regimen. While I wrote a paper last semester on the rhetoric of Afrocentric hair, I'm now sure that my own thoughts were cloudy until a few weeks ago. For the past few weeks I've been approached by several younger (Hey, I'm still in my 20s ! LOL) African American women at my school (TWU) who have complimented me about how I style my hair. It's not that I did not believe it myself, however, I think that it's very telling to receive such a resounding response on a college campus (very different from the professional, corporate working world), which in my past college experiences were not always the case.
These responses have made me think even deeper about my research, and it seems that things are changing. Even when stopping at my favorite cafe (La Madeline's) I was approached by a young lady behind the counter. We had an extensive 15 minute conversation about natural hair care products, specifically Kinky Curly, and why it's only sold at Whole Foods! I mean truly, a change is definitely happening, and it seems very real.

So I'm sure your wondering what any of this has to do with art-making? Well, that's what the video is for! Nevertheless, I'm happy to say that these experiences and ideas are the beginning of artistic theorizing in the making.

New works showing at the driveby in Watertown!

2010-09-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

So this summer my husband and I made our big move to Tejas from Boston, which I must admit has been the best decision we could have ever made. It's been an amazing experience and it's enabled us to spend more time with our family. I'm now studying in the brand new Ph.D program in Women's Studies at Texas Woman's University in Denton, Texas, which has been a whole new journey for me. Coming from a fine art background this coursework has provided new areas of research and context for my future work.

Prior to leaving Boston I had been coordinating with curators Beth Kantrowitz(www.bkartprojects.com) and Kathleen O'Hara(www.ohprojects.com) to participate in a new exhibition entitled, Who am I? which also features the work of Ben Sloat, Millee Tibbs, and Stephanie Fetter, all who explore issues of identity. Kantrawitz and O'Hara have curated this show in their new gallery space in Watertown called Drive-By. It was a bumpy road to get this new work produced because there was such a number of huge transitions happening in my life: moving across country, starting a new graduate program(with a mega course load), and transitioning into our new life in Texas. Yet despite of the challenges with transitioning, I'm very happy with this work. It is a continuation of past works that I've produced on brown paper bags, yet I tried some different approaches this time around.

In my past works, I drew most of my inspiration towards representations of black women within Black publications, however, in this work I focused on the representations of white women in mainstream fashion magazines. This for me seemed to make the work even more relevant for its purpose, which is a question of assimilation. The "brown bag test" to me references a point in history certain groups of black people felt they needed to assimilate to survive or separate themselves from the masses. What I'm questioning in this work is how beauty and fashion media has encouraged black women to assimilate to the mainstreams standards. This work challenges the viewer to see past the visual and determine how assimilation may affect ones connection to identity.

Nombre Diversity at Holliston High School! Opening reception tomorrow!

2010-06-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

So after nearly three months of working on my project with Holliston High School the work is finally complete and on view. The opening reception will be all day tomorrow, June 7th, 2010.

There is one thing I've learned from this experience more than ever before... know when to call for assistants! :)

I seem to always realize this at the last minute somehow, or at the final stretch of a project. I can recall a similar outcome when finishing my final project for my Senior project in undergrad, I never would have finished my project in time had it not been for the help of a good friend(who randomly volunteered to assist btw, and I'm not sure what I would have done without her!) My husband was my supportive assistant while I was finishing the final work for my Master's as well, and boy did I need his help! He needs to take his installation skills on the road!

So I'm realizing a pattern, that whenever I'm working on projects that have been initiated by my own ideas( meaning no one created the idea nor told me to do it), I need to always prepare and plan for assistants. BECAUSE as my former professor used to say, I always manage to do very ambitious work. Something I never wanted to believe at the time. I thought every artist wanted to create work with the type of vision that I put into my work, and I'm realizing that is not always the case. And I believe that I can learn from other artists who look at their work in more compartmentalized and simplified ways. Though something tells me that the way that I work is very specific to how I love to work, and ultimately I need to learn better ways to get the job done. Perhaps it wouldn't be as bad if I weren't both an artist who works with concept and vision, yet also in process. The process part seems to have a field day with the conceptual part of me because one idea can produce so many extensions of process. Lord help me! But no really, it was a great learning experience in which I believe it was destined to be. I think I can learn from the advise of my former mentor in grad school, Renee Cox, when she suggested I get an assistant to take the pressure off of me to feel that I had to do everything on my own.

The great thing about Studio 370 is that it truly is an experimental space, and honestly I wouldn't have been able to come up with the work that I did, in the freedom that I did, if it wasn't such a supportive space. I really feel so grateful for that, it's not often that you receive that opportunity right out of grad school so I feel very liberated.

I think the biggest challenge for me, which always is, managing a hectic schedule. So the project which initially was scheduled to begin as a process-based project that would end with a final exhibition, ended up being entirely process for a very long time! I'm so thankful to art teachers Doug Lack and Lisa Bynoe for their understanding, as they were really supportive throughout the entire process, and in the end were gracious enough to let me come back a month later to set up the show for view. It's been such a valuable experience that I'll never forget. What would you do without gracious people? Absolutely nothing, and that's why we need more of them!

So about the work, I feel very happy with what I was able to come up with, which is always a give and take. Some of the works were pieces I envisioned from the very beginning while others evolved overtime. Some pieces are a mix of both. The show officially started last friday, and I've already received some positive feedback so far. Many of the students really liked the use of technology, mixed media, and photography as they are used to more mediums like painting and sculpture. It really gave them a new angle on contemporary art, which I'm glad they were able to appreciate. I think their personal attachment was also that many of their images were included in the project, which was very impactful to them. When I was taking the photographs and explaining the project to them, they were all anxious to see how their participation in the project would be shown. Some students who didn't get a chance to get their pictures taken, where like "Wait, how come I didn't get to get my picture taken?" I think when you can make art that prompts that type of response you know that part of your goal was accomplished, because you know that the people that participated feel great that they were apart of it and others wish they could be.

The main piece that I envisioned when I initially proposed the project was 100 students, which is a grid of 5x7 photographs of 100 students from Holliston High School. This piece references so many things for me, but ultimately it's in part a "glimpse" of the student body. As if I had taken a random sampling of students to study as research. But I was particularly interested to see how diverse this sample of students would be. Rather than purposely select an evenly diverse selection of students I photographed students that randomly decided to participate from the art department classes and a few other classes. This image for me doesn't show the experience that I had photographing each student, which was priceless. Though ethnically or culturally it may look as if this group of 100 students are the same, that is wholely inaccurate. In my observation of them, and my discussion with them they all have different interests and points of view. So I found this initial part of the project to be one of the most rewarding in a number of ways, one because I was using photography which is one of my favorite mediums and two because of how comfortable the students where to share their goals and ambitions.

To my amazement, I also experienced first hand how critical young women can be of their own images. Many of them cringed at the sight of themselves, which was mystifying. I was able to see how much the media's impact of beauty affects young women at that age. Also, the notion of images of oneself is so much different with social networkng sites like "Facebook," young people are used to customizing an image that they want their peers to see. While in the case of this project, I edited and selected the images, so it was a interesting comparison. I guess another take would have been to allow the students select their own images, and it would have shown a picture of how they'd "like" to be seen. This is a notion that I learned about "portraiture" in a photo theory course I took in college that was based on the portrait, and the difference between what the subject wants to see in themselves and the virtue the photographer sees.

I think the most provocative experience in the project happened, while working on a piece that I entitled, See, Hear the Sound of Holliston, I interviewed and recorded 10 students through audio as they detailed their thoughts and beliefs about diversity. I edited and constructed 5 sound pieces from these interviews. In each piece the students tell of their ideologies about diversity within the school. It was so revealing because I met with them individually and they were really able to share their perspectives freely. Their reflections were so pure and a bold, and some even admitted that some of their views may have been a little biased based on their experiences. The most common thread in their discussion was that the diversity within Holliston High School has more to do with the town of Holliston, and it's level or lack of diversity. No student had the same perspective, but they all agreed in different ways that they'd like to see more diversity, yet that there was something very unique about their experience. Some of the students could see that diversity goes beyond racial diversity, and felt that their individual identities were a reflection of diversity. It was both a learning experience for me to hear their experiences, and it was also an opportunity for them to think about a subject that perhaps they have never had the opportunity to speak about constructively.

I then paired the sound works with a series of 16 photographs that I took during my time at Holliston High, which capture the essence of the educational space: the hallways, classrooms, courtyards, gym, and much more. It was a way to examine how the space of the school parallels or intersects with the actual experiences that this group of students report. Together I feel that the contrasting mediums really give a sense of what diversity means for many students at the school.

Then, I constructed a video installation in which I collaborated with a couple of female students, to create a video about diversity. I showed them a brief slideshow of images that are typically used to promote diversity. I'm sure you've seen them. The ones that show a photograph representing in part or fully a group of ethnically, racially diversed peoples to describe the diversity of the school. At first response, many of the students thought, "hmmm.... Why did you come to Holliston? It's not really diverse." Yet, I explained that though they may not represent a wide variety of races that they had the ability to portray how they as a diverse set of individuals come together. They were partially convinced but insisted that they get more "diverse students" so it didn't look like so much of the same. I didn't agrue with them, because I could understand their point. If someone comes in doing a project on diversity, it has become a huge part of our culture to figure out how we can "look" more culturally diverse visually. And since this visual aspect representing diversity was what the video was about, I totally understood their need to be represented through variety. Working with these young ladies was really one of the best, I collaborated with them to come up with gestures that represented diversity. Yet there was a point while working with them, when I was able to see how much young students need time to rest and reflect. One of the gestures required them all to lay with their heads together and eyes closed. It was the cutest thing when they asked me " Can we stay here for a minute?" I kindly said "sure" and thought how nice that this exercise could provide both an educational and peaceful activity for them.

One of the next pieces that I completed was This is a desk, this room is my classroom of culture, where I made a chalkboard surface on the wall with text, a desk, and an image of desk to reference the need for a space to educate students about culture. It takes from using references from the "classroom" as a place where students learn, to generate ideas about how we learn. I'm always amazed at how much we don't know about culture and different cultures. In this piece, I felt there needed to be a way to create more opportunities for discussion and understanding our differences and what they come from. I feel that the only way that we can be culturally sound is to insure that our students have the best information. Without the proper education students are left to assume and judge based on a lack of information. One of the greatest points made during the interviews was how a diverse educational environement initiates that cultural study, and helps to create this space that is often far more than what is discussed in the classroom. We often underestimate how this helps young students. Yet in addition to creating an diverse educational environment, the curriculm should highlight and further investigate this study so that all students can become more knowledgeable about themselves and others.

When I began this project I felt that it was really thought provoking to accomplish, and much of the work was influenced by the wall piece that I worked on, Words that describe. Words that describe which lists a number of terms that describe diversity and is written in chalk. The use of chalk references the classroom and education(though many schools are using eraser boards now), I felt that it also represented something related to younger people( like crafts and expressions using chalk on the wall or the ground.) I initially set out to use paint over it, but liked the connection of chalk to ideas of school, which as I mentioned earlier inspired the chalkboard piece. I knew that I wanted to do a piece that was somewhat inspired by Marcel Duchamp and his "Chair" piece, but using a school desk instead. So by using the chalkboard it added a new layer to my original idea.

Finally, I wanted to create a process-piece that reflected the students' response to the project and their own thoughts on diversity. So I brought in a bulletin board that I use in my studio to act as a replacement for the usual "journal" that I would place in exhibition space to get feedback. I envisioned using color strips of paper where students could write their thoughts and post to the bulletin board. I was very fortunate that Ms. Bynoe had a wonderful collection of craft papers in amazing colors. So I crafted the color selection to felt reflect the boldness that this piece should represent visually. The differences in color also create a "choice" for students, that they can select the colors(paper and markers) that they indentify with and post them to the board. To me it creates another way for the students to express their individuality, which was very huge to me. I wanted to think past "diversity" in a way that only address racial difference and know that their upbringing, experiences, talents and skills create a diverse environment as well. In the end learning to appreciate that which is unique about them that no one else has. When I think of how many young people have issues with their self-image, I know that it's the ability to look at themselves and celebrate who their are that's most important. I can't count the times that students who came in and hated to see themselves on the wall, yet could appreciate the images of others. I can recall that there was a time when I felt the same way at their age, I'm not sure at what point things changed, but I hope that this work would help them to challenge and identify where the negative thoughts may be coming from, so that a change can be made.

So if your near the Holliston area( or would like to travel there) in the next few weeks please feel free to stop by the space. I'm really happy to have the opportunity to create a space that is both educational and visually stimulating.

New Projects!

2010-03-09T22:28:00.000-08:00

So now that I've completed the MFA program, it's time to crank out some new work. And what better way to do that but in a creative space that encourages experimentation and exploration? Today marks the beginning of my residency as Visiting Artist at Holliston High School(Holliston,MA).

My proposed project is one based on diversity, so no direct work about colorism this time. Yah!
I'm quite excited about it because I think there is great potential to develop a whole new body of work that's independent from my graduate school experience.

I'm also excited to be working on a slightly different topic than colorism, I feel like I'm a little colorism-ed out! I think because in addition to my studio practice that engaged this subject for the MFA program, my documentary, The Skin Quilt Project is also surrounding the subject, though the relief is that the quilters make the storyline A lot more interesting.

Yet, I'm excited to note that the film is complete and is beginning it's theatrical distribution with community screenings and loads of other fun opportunities. And I hope that more develops from there. So besides continuing to promote the film until the exclusive DVD release, I'm excited at the opportunity to think at some new topics and ways of working.

So I have a lot ahead of me, and I'm going to be photographing a lot more for this project, I feel that will be somewhat like a research study on diversity. A subject I'm really interested in learning more about, and how different needs of diversity changes depending on location and community.

Tomorrow I will actually begin the work, whereas today I've been mapping out the planning with the Art department at Holliston. It's going to be a fun journey, and there even be a small reception once all the work is complete. I look forward to sharing pics of the process.

The new and improved: I'm a Master of Fine Arts!

2010-01-21T05:53:00.000-08:00

Last week was my 5th MFA Residency at the Art Institute of Boston at Lesley University, and I have to say I went through a range of emotions. Pure fear, which is so unlike me, to complete awe. An explanation of that can be obtained by describing the major events that occurred during the 10 day residency.

On the very first day I was scheduled to give an artist talk, which was loosely based on my MFA Thesis, and explained the work that I was making and the artists who influenced this. I rehearsed my talk over and over like a speech and I was so nervous! Though everyone said they couldn't tell. I could lol. But, I did feel very confident in what I was doing as an artist, and though originally I was nervous about potential questions after I finished my talk it turned out that I was ready. It helped that all of the people who asked questions were very thought provoking and pertaining to my work. For example: Have you considered including the references to Egyptian and Ethopian art in your work? Do you see the influence of popular culture having an influence on advertising geared towards African-Americans? and my favorite Do I see the isolation of African-American artists playing a part in my work? All very good questions about issues that I feel very passionate about. As my classmates stated during our Final Graduate seminar, I got "fired up." I agree.

Then, a couple of days later I was defending my thesis and work, again another scary moment but it was a success. I passed, Thank God! The readers did give me some suggestions to think about in terms of the work that I presented.

You may be familiar with some of this work, the brown paper bag installation Essence/February 2009, and I showed this piece along with my magazine pieces. Similiar to how I did in the Intersexions show at Stonehill College. This time, however, I also included an excerpt of my documentary, The Skin Quilt Project, on view as well. Overall, I received great response from my display and I was really happy with the results. Big Thanks to my husband Solomon for his amazing installation services. He did an amazing job!

I think what I enjoyed most, was the opportunity to critique with other students in the program as a graduating student. I just felt that I had so much more to share than I realized. I came away from each critique feeling that I had provide them with some great advice on how to move forward, specifically in terms of making work that you can defend.

Then lastly it was the exhibition reception to look forward to and I was estatic that my mother coming in town because it's always fun when she's here so that was a great plus. Like many of my classmates we felt that the moment felt somewhat anti-climatic but I think my greatest moment was the Grad Toast. It was a great time and it really helped to celebrate the achievement of getting my MFA. I have to say that I'm so glad this season has come to a close, but honestly it was fun while it lasted!

Lauren Cross' Art Blog was selected as one of the 100 great blogs for art students and enthusiats!

2010-01-21T05:28:00.000-08:00

Hello All,

I'm excited to report that my blog was selected by onlinecollege.org as one of the "100 Great Blogs for Art Students and Enthusiats!" Check it out!
http://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/01/20/100-great-blogs-for-art-students-enthusiasts/

This is great news! Thanks to everyone who has been tuning in!

Best,

Lauren

The Intersexions show de-installed :(

2009-12-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

I know this is alittle after the fact, but I just wanted to show some pics of the Intersexions show I was recently apart of at Stonehill College. The show just de-installed this past weekend, but it was such a great show. There was an amazing turn out, and I was so thrilled to be in the presence of such great artists. They also did a great job on the catalog, which was very professional.

I was also encouraged that my work had such a great response in the show, and I was moved by the number of viewers that could identify with the works. Perhaps not from the context of the work but the work itself spoke to them in some way.

There was an amazing artist panel on November 20th, where I joined with four other artists in the show( Steve Locke, Caleb Cole, James Montford, and Michele L'Heureux) to talk about our work.

The panel was very energized, and brought forth so many strong questions. There were times where I could literally feel the tension in the room. I think race and identity is unmistakably one of the most difficult things to talk about in such a large setting, because so many people have such different views and feelings about it. Obviously, from one's perspective that has a history of pain due to racism the feelings are much more emotional. I thought it was powerful to get the three perspectives of race from myself, Steve Locke, and James Montford, as we all had different individual experiences that crossed generationally but also gender and geographical origins. I was also taken by Caleb and Michele's talk as well, because the way that they discussed their work truly opens a door into the process and what the artist feels the viewer will see into the work. It was an amazing opportunity to meet all of them, some I've only known about but never met in- person.

The overall response from the exhibit was phenomenal. It was curated by the Exhibitions and Colletions class at Stonehill College, and I have to admit that they did an exceptional job with putting together the show as did Candice Smith Corby(Gallery Director and Arts Coordinator for Stonehill) and Carole Calo, who were the instructors for the class. The show was very smart and a quite unusual topic for a student-curated show but I was glad that they chose to be somewhat controversial when most tend to stay safe. There were several notable members of the Boston arts community who saw the show and felt strongly that the show should be a traveling exhibition. I personally would love to have the opportunity to show with these artists again, as their work in relation to my own opens up so many questions about the context of race, identity, and gender in our society.

Skin Quilt Project Teaser!!

2009-10-18T16:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Good things happening all over, thesis writing and mega work! Check out the link below for the teaser for The Skin Quilt Project!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcwRmx0eyW0

New Mentor, New Ideas

2009-09-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I spoke with my mentor Renee Cox about where I could see my work going, as well as what I wanted to communicate through my work. It was a great meeting because she suggested some great alternatives for me that I was already considering. Printing on fabric. A previous mentor, Ceci Mendez had suggested a similar thing almost a year ago and it's definitely been in my mind to do. I think I've procrastinated the idea for a number of reasons: 1) I was afraid it would be costly 2) I didn't want to waste money and it went all wrong. But I think one thing I 'm learning is its good to explore things new avenues in your work because you never know where it will lead you. Another reflection I thought of from my meeting with Renee was scale. I think it's something I've been wanting to play with for a long time. I personally love work that has scale to it so why haven't I been blowing up my work? Well, I definitely didn't want to be blowing up work for no reason at all, but I really can understand and comprehend the reasons why. Scale helps the work to somehow speak louder in a way that small intimate images just don't. I've always felt that way looking at art, know it's my time to pick up the pace.

Another discovery. Display. Not that this is a foreign thing for me as well, but I find that the better the presentation the better the art. As I've begun the process of working on the brown paper bags, the hardest thing for me to conceive was presentation. I was explaining to Renee my personal connection to the African American quilting tradition and all of sudden it seemed like a major light bulb came on. Why not either quilt the bags?(Only if they were dramatic enough in scale) or take images of the drawings on the bags, print them on fabric, and quilt them? Sounds like a good idea to me! The irony is that since I started The Skin Quilt Project I've been doing more stitching and sewing of fabrics. We'll see how that goes but it's definitely a way to re-look at the issues I've been working in, and tie it all together. Stay tuned for more fun in this process!

September 25th at South Shore Art Center!!!

2009-09-03T08:55:00.001-07:00

Hey all, I'm excited to report that on September 25th, 6-8 p.m. I will be attending the opening reception at the South Shore Art Center for their Color Matters show( September 18–November 1) that was juried by Associate Curator of the ICA Boston, Jen Mergel.

Yours truly was one of the artists selected to present a piece( Shades of me, left) in the show, which was a tremendous honor. This will be one of the first juried exhibitions I've been a part of so I feel like this is the start of something new. It's hard to get plugged into the Boston scene so I feel very blessed and know it's only the grace of God!

On another note, The Skin Quilt Project is going great! I had my first trip to Houston a few weekends ago and it was a remarkable experience. It's truly a blessing to be able to meet and talk to so many people to hear their own experiences and see how we're really all connected. I've been editing and capturing footage ever since I got home and it's been amazing to look back after the interviews and see what was said. When you're filming your only able to really hear some things because you're also focusing on the vision of everything. I've also been able to recruit some outstanding scholars and quilters for the project as well so I feel very humbled to be able to speak with them all. Keep a look out on The Skin Quilt Project site as I'll be posting some footage their as well as commentary about the participants etc.

In other things, I'm looking doing a bit of quilting myself or at least looking at the quilting technique as a theme for my MFA thesis. I'll show the progress!!!

Researching Black Super Models

2009-08-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

I read in the Times yesterday and found that Naomi Sims, a black supermodel,(Not to be confused with Naomi Campbell!) notably recognized for breaking the chains off of the American modeling circuit recently died from cancer. I think there is something very profound about her story, as before her most of the black models were lighter-skinned. One very disturbing part of her journey as a model is that she was rejected often early in her career because she was "darker-skinned" and that her "look" would be rejected by readers. I find this interesting, because it seems the ideas of beauty for black women have been originated by the European idea of beauty. I started to research the stories of major black super models such as Naomi Campbell, who graced the cover of the Vogue Paris due to an advertiser refusing to advertise if she wasn't chosen.

Now looking at some of the newer generation of models it is interesting to see that how certain shades of black women become prominent at different points in our history. To my knowledge Naomi Sims came on during the "Black is beautiful" movement, and now looking at some of the current models such as Chanel Iman and Selita Ebanks are fairly lighter. There is a very caramel look happening now that seems to act as a happy medium between light and dark. Again, fashion and trends are changing all the time, where old ideas are recycled and reused in different ways.It seems that ideas on black beauty are too.

New Projects, New Projects, New Projects!!!!!

2009-08-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

So this is going to be a mega busy semester with many things to see and do. First, I would like to introduce everyone to a new online site that I've launched called, CVAAD Projects (www.cvaad.com) that features contemporary visual art and artists of the African Diaspora. I would blame AIB for pushing so much research in the program, that it actually made me like it! But it's something I'm really passionate about as I really would like to see a greater presence of black artists in galleries, magazines, anthologies etc. The word really needs to get out there. So CVAAD Projects will act as a catalyst and producer for that type of movement. Also, I've finally given in to the "film bug," those of you who know me know that I've done short films in the past, but many of you may perhaps be unfamiliar. After all of the abuse I've experienced at AIB,lol, I was encouraged to have more video and a more tangible look at the issue of colorism. It's taken me awhile to get this all together but I've launched a documentary project that I'm working on, called The Skin Quilt Project. This documentary is largely about the presence of colorism within the African American community, but also the paradox of the things we do to connect to our cultural heritage. It's going to be a challenge to tie these two concepts together, but I'm really passionate about it. Obviously quilting in the African American community has a dialogue of it's own, but one of the things I was facinated about was it's relevance in African American art. So I'm using quilting as a way to enter into this discussion about colorism. They are two opposite outlooks on African American culture, quilting being the pride and joy, and colorism being the shame and guilt. But I'm interested in meeting with quilters of African descent to discuss the complexity of these two emotions: 1) the joy of quilting as a sense of cultural pride 2) the disappointment of ones cultural view on skin complexion. How can pride and insecurity exist in the same framework? This is what The Skin Quilt Project aims to explore. This will be a controversial move, but I feel it's necessary to really get the point across. I'm so excited that I've already begun to recruit interviewees for the project. Check out the website/blog for the project at: www.skinquiltproject.com.

Review in Allston Brighton Tab!!

2009-07-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

So here is the review in the Allston Brighton Tab that I mentioned in my previous post. I do feel that she slightly misquoted me, or at least ducked off alot of the context that I said in our interview but ultimately, press is press right?

Essence/February 2009 in Junko Revival show

2009-07-13T11:08:00.001-07:00

This Sunday was the opening for the Junko Revival show(July 12–August 9, 2009) at Rescue (325 Brighton Avenue, Allston, MA) a hip store featuring new and used modern style apparel for men and women. The event was organized by Glovebox(www.gloveboxboston.com),a non profit organization that features the work of emerging and undiscovered artist in the Boston area.It was a great experience, and I was lucky enough to even be interviewed by the Allston/Brighton Tab. I'll be on the look out to see if anything goes to press. I would say that this was also my first time exhibiting in Boston, and it was also great to show completely new work.

I showed three pieces from a new series(Essence/February 2009) that I started recently inspired by Essence magazine, one of the most popular publications for black women. I grew up reading Essence and it has often been the single place( Besides Ebony and Jet) where black women could see their "own" all throughout their pages, whether it in articles or the beauty and fashion pages. The mixed media drawings from this series Essence/ February 2009 were inspired by representations of black women in the beauty and fashion spreads. For years there has been an ongoing argument about the limited representations of dark-skinned beauties on these pages of their magazine, and the dominance of a women of lighter-skin has prescribed a skepticism about "black beauty."

As I've been working on the brown paper bags for a while I felt the combination of these two influences: 1. the representation of black beauty in black magazines and 2. the concept of the brown paper bag test to be connected. It all seems to comment on the ways in which the black community has found ways to tear each other down in the process of building others up. It has destroyed the way we think and see each other.

I think I'm most interested in deconstructing the concept of having a "black alternative" of European beauty because this way of thinking has had such a subtle affect on people that it's almost unrecognizable. Yet at the same time I think it's affect on people is so detrimental in the long run. In my impression no issue should be pushed under the rug as any issue has the potential to be completely destructive. We should love each other that much.

On the other hand, we are making obvious steps towards progress in light of our new President and First lady. Its amazing how healing it is to see Michelle Obama featured on the cover of magazines and so trailed by the media, its definitely a step in the right direction, which in my view is the right way to go.

Residency Tomorrow!!Aaaah!!

2009-06-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

The AIB residency is tomorrow and I'm both happy and nervous about it. These are the images I'll be bringing, however, I might also be bringing some other projects I've worked on as well. All of these images reflect all the research that I've been doing on the representation of the black image in Western art. I'm actually finally somewhat pleased with the result, and feel like I have work that is coinciding with what I'll be writing for my thesis. I know there is alot of work to do to prepare but I'm excited. As usual it will be great to see all of my classmates and faculty. It feels somewhat bittersweet that this is actually the last official residency for grad school, where I will be critiqued. The final residency being the one where I defend my thesis and prepare work for the graduate exhibition.

I think what I'd really like to gain from this residency is feedback that will be helpful as I prepare to hone things for my thesis. I could certainly bring additional work, however, I'm not sure if that would get acros

s my message. My advisor really made it clear in the last residency that I should focus on bringing works that were more edited, so here it is. All of these images are 24x16 primarily except for one horizontal image(16x24).I certainly plan to expound even more from these works and to create more, however, it was very difficult to do this semester as I felt that it started much later then usual. I also had the task of really digging deeper into my research to see w

hat I really needed to be saying and how I really needed to be saying it. I found as I began to at the history of the black image in Western art that I started to see aspects that I was very interested in exploring. And I began to depart from many of the things that I did in past semesters such as the use of text. I don't believe that it's because that I didn't have anything to say, but I began to question myself and why I wanted to use text so much. I believe it's something that is apart of me, and I love writing. So it's almost a natural chain or reaction. I think what really helped me was that I had so many opportunities to write this year, whether it be articles or the papers that I worked on this semester. Not that the papers have changed from past semesters, but I guess I sort of felt settled into my topic so much more. When I first started the MFA program I felt so sensitive about writing about African American art or art of

the African diaspora. Yet over time I started to experience a momentum that really helped me through this semester. I have to say honestly that it was my writing that helped me to make sense of what I really wanted to do. I also had some great encouragement and advice from my mentor Howardena Pindell, who was very helpful to me. I had been working on the brown paper bags, which I will continue to do, however, I felt like the message was getting across so much better with these digital paintings I began to make. In my mind I believe that I had already knew this was where I was going, however, I think sometimes we choose to go along for the ride, take a couple of detours, just for the fun of it. I think all of it has taught be a lot and has

given me a new sense of understanding for what I want to be doing. I'm more amazed particularly by the Hottentot Venus image that I created, because I never really thought I'd be addressing her topic in my art. I mean there have been many other artists who have such as Rene

e Cox and Carla Williams, who have used her references in their photography. I'm sure my good friend and curator Barbara Thompson would be tickled to see how her work at the Hood Museum and Davis Museum has influenced what I'm doing now. I don't think I'll ever forget the excitement that my mentor Ms. Pindell expressed when she saw my photo sketches of the project. And it really hit me how important history is to art, and how it allows us to reflect on so much more then maybe the main topic. Besides a rough start I feel that I'm fairly pleased with the outcome this semester. I think there are definitely great things to come...

Curator/writer Bill Arning new director in Houston!

2009-05-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

I was pleased to hear that the Contemporary Arts Museum, Houston had recruited curator/writer Bill Arning as their new director over the museum. Over the years he's had the opportunity to impact the Houston arts scene, so I know his presence there will be a major contribution to the region. I'm looking forward to seeing all the great things that come from this! Mr. Arning has worked with a number of students that have come from the AIB program and to my knowledge he has is one who appreciates new and innovative ideas in culture and theory. I'm glad because I think that the Houston area could benefit from his leadership, and I expect to see exhibitions that are new and refreshing. Along with venues such as Project Row Houses and DiverseWorks, I believe that the Contemporary Arts Museum the potential to take the art world by storm. Show them what Houston has to offer!

Contemporary Arts Museum Houston
5216 Montrose Blvd.
Houston, TX 77006-6598
info@camh.org
http://www.camh.org/

Project Row Houses
2521 Holman (between St. Charles and Live Oak Streets)
Phone: 713.526.7662
Fax: 713.526.1623
Email: info@projectrowhouses.org
Hours: Noon - 5:00 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday
http://projectrowhouses.org

DiverseWorks
1117 E. Freeway
Houston, Texas 77002
Phone:713.223.8346
http://www.diverseworks.org/

This is what it is...

2009-05-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

Wow...this has been one hectic and overwhelming term, yet I'm amazed that the upcoming AIB residency will be my fourth! Where did the time go? But anyway, I thought I would share some of the pieces I've been working on over the past months. Though some I'll have to share over time because I've taken a lot of images and I'm working on different projects at the same time. I'm working on a magazine project which I'm not sure if I'm going to be bringing to the residency or not, as well as some new images on the brown paper bags. I've been actually been piecing together bags to make these huge 70 inch wide paper made of the bags and I've begun to place some tracings on top.

After meeting with my mentor Howardena Pindell, she suggested that I look into acid free paper instead of the bags. She has been very encouraging as well about my ideas and where my work is going. I thought a lot about the acid-free paper suggestion, and I decided that due to the amount of time and interest I invested into the bags I will most likely stick it out as I'm enjoying the ability to use found objects that have such deep meanings. Also, the whole point of this project is to deconstruct the brown paper bag itself, the fact that overtime it deconstructs itself and won't last actually best stresses my point as well. But I am definitely interested in using grocery bag colored acid free paper in the future because I do think it's important to think about preservation.

In addition, to the bag pieces I've been working on a series of images that have a great deal to do with my thesis topic, The representation of the black in western art. I had set towards focusing it on American art, but I find that I'm most interested in the images done by Europeans! go figure. So I'm not sure if focusing on American art is something I'm directly talking about in my work, though it's related. Because the research that I've been doing on the representation of the black in American visual culture is definitely coming up, but not so much in the images that I'm referencing. For instance the Marie-Guilhelmin Beniost's painting, "Portrait d'une negresse," and Eugene Delacroix's "The Mulatto Woman." Perhaps it's because they represent the aspects of "blackness" that I feel less familar and connected with. They are two different extremes of black womanhood, Benoist's "African woman" and Delacroix's half-black woman. It is often thought that to the dominate culture these two different extremes of blackness are unseen or unknown compared to what I would say our black society refers to. They are assumed to see two completely different black people one light and one dark as the same, such as the saying "if your black your black." But I'm not quite sure about this. I mean let's be honest here. Why would Benoist paint her version of a black woman and why did Delacroix paint his, I have to think that their interpretations of these different women were different otherwise they would pick the same looking women. And when I say different extremes or types of black women I mean as in "light and dark" because I think that as black women we tend to see ourselves and other black women in light and dark, even if we don't want or mean to. So with that being said, I don't think that anyone on this earth who has eyes and who can see would be blind to not see those differences as well. Yet, I do feel that people subconsciously make decisions about picking this type of woman over that one with out their own knowledge. THIS is why I have done these self-portraits as muses of the women that these white European artists have made certain decisions, whether conscious or unconscious, to pick a certain type(light or dark) of black woman as the subject of their images. My images attempt to create a dialogue about those choices, almost like saying, "but what if it were me?" to show the affect of the image with respect to the subject that is chosen.

Now to talk about the magazine. I've constructed a ficticous magazine that is plays into the ideas of representation of black women in print media. So far I've only designed the cover of the magazine, but I will be seeking contributors to submit articles and features for the publication of it. I will also try to recruit some writers myself, but If there is anyone that's interest please feel free.

The residency is coming up in June, and I'll be really thinking about what exactly I'll be bringing. Most likely I'll be bringing the self-portrait images because it says more of what I think I'm going.Plus, I don't want to bring to many different things again because I will be accused on not focusing(which is very irritating) like previous residencies. The brown paper bag pieces that I'm working on now, maybe just another series that I continue to do outside of the program. Who knows? I'm leaving it all open for now. I'll be doing some additional work to the self-portrait images because I see them being more like digital paintings, right now they are just photographs but they will be much more when I'm done!

So that's all for now, but there will be much more later!

Light vs. Dark Comparisons

2009-03-23T06:20:00.000-07:00

After coming back from the residency I began to think a lot about how I might want to go about rendering "different modes of expressions" as Sunanda would say. So after the residency I started to experiment with an adhesive back transfer paper that I had bought some months ago. I had thought at the time that it would something really new for me to use and it would allow me to place images on my work in a different way then cutting and pasting actual images from photo paper. This way the images would have a translucence to them which was definitely what I was looking for. It would allow me to keep the character of the material that I was using, the brown paper bag, while not directly being limited with just drawings and photographs.

A while ago as I was investigating the whole colorism subject I had begun to compile these images of prominent African Americans who were a visible reference of what I know people classify as "light-skinned" and "dark- skinned." During that time it was pre- President Obama so there were a number of images of Barack and Michelle Obama to choose from. I found however that I was more interested in Michelle Obama than Barack Obama though, not so much because I wasn't excited about a potential black president, but I was interested in the reason for so many black women's interest in Michelle Obama. Not only is she a educated, a intellectual, and a well spoken woman, but what I heard from many women is that "finally a darker-skinned woman got the break." This interested me because it changed for me how I interpreted people's perception of Barack Obama. On one hand there were many white people specifically in the media who thought she was a threatening figure, where at different times they framed her to be a hinderance to his campaign. Yet, on the other hand to black women she was the very reason they accepted Barack Obama, or took him more seriously. Perhaps it is because people had seen numerous "light-skinned" men in power who were wonderful speakers, and who had fought for the "black cause" but either married white or a woman who was"near white." What that communicates is something far more than I think people realize.

So anyway, I was particularly interested in the way that the media was portraying her. There was one image on the cover of "Times" that caught my eye, because it portrays Michelle in a very innocent way(with her arms covering her). During this same time I had begun to collect some images of Beyonce' as well, because she for me emphasizes a woman of color who has been able to be so universal perhaps because of her skin tone. And also, she came under some controversy last year because of her ads in Loreal, which in my impression I had suspected they had been using lightened images much earlier than now but I suppose people are just now catching on. Beyonce' has also made it known that she now identifies as "creole"(50% Creole of Color from her mother and her father is African American), which I feel is an interesting change as well.

But together they both represent two women of color who have achieved a certain level of achievement, Beyonce as an entertainer and First Lady Michelle Obama has achieved academic and professional success not to mention being the "Mom-in-chief." So here are these two women who both believe in the same upperwardly mobile ideals( Beyonce apparently grew up looking up to professional women like Michelle Obama in her mother's salon in Houston, Texas), yet the one thing that separates them in the eyes of the black community is their skin tone. Coming from a woman who was born and raised in Houston, Texas I am fully aware of how Beyonce was viewed in the community, particularly during the rise of Destiny's Child in the late 90s to early 2000s I remember people from my high school and across the city who could sense some "skin tone-marketing" at the core of their group. Beyonce, the lighter skinned member( not to mention daughter of the manager), was singing lead, while the other darker members(even if a few shades) were at the back ups. Whether this theory is true I don't know, but it seemed like there was a movement about this across America even prior to: Salt-N-Peppa, SWV, EnVogue, TLC, Xscape(Teeny),702, then much later on 3LW. All of these groups typically had a lighter-skinned member and most of the girls when I was growing up wanted to be her, whether they were dark or light. This is a puzzling phenomenon to me, but I'll get back to that later. So by comparing these two women I think it really allows one to see how color conscious the world really is, which surely doesn't make it right but somehow you wonder how and when will it change.

Moving Slow...

2009-03-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

This semester has moved as slow as ever. Though I've contacted many different artists I've had the greatest challenge this semester to find a studio mentor. I'm not really sure why. But I've been taking it all in stride. My focus has been really more so on trying to get my ac

ademic side of studying down, as I prepare my t

hesis outline for the end of the semester. So far that has been the best thing that's been motivating me lately. Though I've started to get work going by taking photographs and making drawings again, it was really challenging to get a flow going because I was waiting on getting a mentor. I originally thought I had found a mentor, but unfortunately they backed out at the last minute. So I'm hoping I can get that done sooner rather than later. As of now, I recently connected with African American woman artist, Howardena Pindell, who has agreed to be my studio mentory. She is an African American woman artist who has exhibited all over the world, and whose work I recently saw at the Contemporary Arts Museum in Houston, Texas this past Decemberat the exhibition, Cinema Remixed and Reloaded, Black Women Artists and the moving image since 1970s.

She had an amazing video entitled"Free, White and 21"( to right is a video still from Free, White and 21, with Howardena Pindell in "white face")where she tells various experiences about being discriminated against because of her color, and in contrast a "white Howardena" is making comments about how she should be grateful. It was a very striking video that has given her much critical acclaim as well as her other abstract works. I'm thrilled and delighted to be able to work with her, as well as extremely grateful as she as a well known artist who I'm sure has much to do.

So just to catch you up, since the last residency at the advisement of my advisor, I've been doing quite a bit of research on the representation of Black in American visual culture, and it's been a really good process. I finally feel like there is a good direction for my work to go and I'm really excited about preparing everything for the next residency. I'm doing a range of different things but ultimately I'll bringing one body of work to the next residency. I'm also looking at the possibility of adding video as well, so I believe that by working with Howardena that will give me some good feedback to go on. I should have some new images up soon for you to view as well.

As for recent exhibitions that I've seen, I went to the Danforth Museum to see Faith Ringgold's Story Quilts exhibition as well as Sedrick Huckaby's Love Supreme(The below right images are of Faith Ringgold's Jazz Story Quilts and one of Sed

rick Huckaby's quilt paintings). They were both equally amazing, and very inspiring. It made me think a lot about my work in terms of using material and subjects of African American culture. Faith Ringgold's figures felt very connected to mine not specifically in style but in the evidence of place and movement in her work. Sedrick Huckaby's work really related to me because of his paintings of quilts, but also the scale of the work. I was in awe of how massive the paintings were and how much they said though the quilts in contrast to Faith Ringgold had abstract forms instead of human figures. It reminded me of some images that my mother sent of my great grandmother's quilts that she made with my gran-

dmother and uncle. I'm really interested in how to meld the quilting theme into my work somehow, I'm slowly beginning to see how I might think of doing that. But seeing Mr. Huckaby's work definitely gave me lots to think about.

I actually saw his work while I was at the January AIB residency because he had an exhibition at Nielsen Gallery. He had some amazing paintings of African American family, one being his painting of his grandmother in "Big Mama's House"( right). It made me think of my facination with the images of my grandparents, great-grandparents, ancestors and the draw to history in my work. I feel that history tells so much about us and I'm interested in intergrating history into the ideas in my work.

Looking at all of the representations of blacks in Western art have given me so much background to look towards. There was a particular painting by Marie Guillemin

e Benoist entitled, "Portrait of a Black Woman"(below image) that struck me most. I read alittle about this p

ainting in one of the volumes in the series "Black in Western Art" by Harvard. This image was supposed to be a pivotal image because it portrays a black women in a more beautiful way, and most accurate because it was an a

ctual model. So I'm interested in looking at the representation of blackness in this way. There is much more that I could go on about but I will keep it at there for now. Until next time....

AIB Residency

2009-01-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

Here are just some pics from my crit space at the AIB residency. Overall I can equate that I had a good response from the work, with areas where I plan to work on this semester. I'm actually really excited about what I'll be working on next. Feel free to make comments or suggestions.

Preview of the series "Can't we stick together?"

2008-10-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last semester I started this series of Untitled drawings called"Can't we stick together?" I started this project with just the drawings, and I sort of put it to the side for a while so that I could focus on the Yellowbone piece and the other works. This semester I re-visited them and found so much in each drawing that I hadn't seen before. I found a way to express how I was feelings about the colorism issue in a way that felt right to me, using flesh tone color pencils( There is a funny story of my buying all of these different flesh tone pencils at my local art supply store. The black guy at the register inquired as to what type of project was requiring me to buy so many "black skin tones." I replied by saying I was working on a colorism project, he smiled while saying "hmmm... that's sounds interesting") Originally, when I was making these drawings I had a different mindset about what they were suppose to mean. They were suppose to be the "answer" to the problem. Then as I began to do so much extensive research on the subject, I felt overwhelmed by the complexity of everything. I realized how deeply embedded this concept has been implanted within our culture, nearly 400 years ago!! So I felt this sense of reality of how huge this issue really was. I imagined the fact that so many black people of darker complexion have died believing a lie, that because of their complexion they weren't beautiful or capable of succeeding. I really hated the fact that our society has almost built an extensive concept around this to keep their false idea into existence. I mourned the fact that so many people deal with these issues, even me! So I started drawing these "answer" pieces to show how we could reverse the curse. As niave (this is the word my old mentor Jane Marsching used when I talked about this with her) as this concept may sound, I really have a passion for all black people to love how God created them no matter how culture has tried to polute us. It's just that serious to me. I realize that friendships have ended, families have been broken, and people have lived in depression over skin tone because of the lie of colorism. So if I seem obsessed with this concept it's because it's real.

Sunanda Sunyal, one of our MFA faculty, made a statement about my work at the last residency about colorism being a internal issue (inside the black community), and he questioned why I'd want to talk about it. Now given please believe that I respect Sunanda, but I felt that question was so disconnected from the stories that I put together in the colorism spread. Anyone who read that piece would understand the necessity to discuss this type of topic, regards of how much people don't like to talk about it because it's painful. But I had a lot of trouble dealing with that statement, because to me it was an excuse to not say what you feel. I don't think we can afford in this day in age to not say and speak our hearts( in love of course), and I've made up in my mind that I'm going to continue to discuss the issues that require us to step into righteousness.

I recently finished reading a book called Cane River by Lalita Tademy( it was on Oprah's Book club list some years ago). It was a really good read to me because the author Lalita, had done extensive research on her family history and wrote a fiction novel based on her research findings. This was a creative approach to me, and I actually started some years ago doing something similar though I had no idea about Ms. Tademy. Maybe you'll see it published one of these days. But anyway, it was a great projection of this idea that "light is better,"stemming back to the time of slavery. The women in her family made significant decisions in the story to have relationships with white French men in Lousiana, and produce in some cases a dozen mulatto children from their extended relationships. They seemed to do this to gain wealth and access to priviledge, only to be betrayed when the same men would deny those same children as being reasonable heirs to their inheritance. It was a tragedy to see these women believe that they would have a better chance in life( in which some of them did though bitterly), and to find out tradegically that they were still black no matter how light they were. It was also interesting to see some of their offspring choose to pass because of this frustration. All in all the book was a engaging read, and I found it to be helpful to look at the history of colorism in America. The story also caused me to think of a film I saw some years ago called "A Feast of All Saints"(2001) which even intersects with references of the creole of color on Cane River. There are other films I could name as well, but it's all very interesting. Well, I'll be sure to pause here for the moment and we will continue on later. Stay tuned to some new upcoming images...on the next blog post.

Black Womanhood Symposium

2008-10-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

The Davis Museum and Cultural Center is currently showing Black Womanhood: Images, Icons, and Ideologies of the African Body until December 14, 2008. I had the privilege to go to the Black Womanhood Symposium this past weekend. It was an awesome and overwhelming experience to see so many black scholars in one venue. It's a rarity and yet at times one doesn't know how to handle that much "black power" at one time. I was so encouraged that my husband also decided to tag along with me, as I know it's not one of his favorite subjects. I think it would be a challenge for me too if I were a man entering into the room with all of these black women talking on the issues and challenges of being a black woman in society.

To my surprise my husband and I came to agreement about two particular people who presented at the symposium, that was scholor Dr. Abena P.A. Busia and artist Renee Cox. Obviously, we had missed the whole set of presenters in the first session, and we were only able to catch the second half. But we were taken by the boldness of Renee, and the passion and intellect that Dr. Abena shared with everyone. Dr. Busia did a very extensive talk on Saar Bartman and it was so compelling. For me the mention of Saar Bartman was a first since I've been in grad school. NO where else have I heard a name mentioned so much, in terms of black art. This is because before I entered grad school I wasn't aware of the separate genre of black art and works from Africa that are beyond African masks and primitiveness. So I found Dr. Busia's talk so insightful for my study because she talked about so many issues in the exhibiting of Saar Bartman in London, and the tragedy of her death as well. She also brought up some interesting points in regards to how black women are portrayed in art by non-black artists. And how that has caused even some black critics to accept certain ideas on black women. There was one particular image that struck me in her presentation. It was an image of a white women on the left, two light-skinned Algerian women in the center, and a image of a dark-skinned black woman at the far right. I wasn't able to catch the name of that painting, but Dr. Busia said something so profound about that image. It had to deal with a comment that was made about the painting that totally silenced the darker complexioned woman on the right. It made me think about a lot of the issues that I'm dealing with my current work, and I thought "Wow that's so interesting." I did manage to speak with her after the session was over so I'm hoping that I might be able to inquire about the name of this image. She also seemed to be well versed in African, African diaspora films so that's another thing I'd love to ask her.

I was also able to speak with Renee Cox which I thoroughly enjoyed. She had some really good insight as well, and unconsciously pin pointed a major issue that I'm dealing with in my most recent works, the brown paper bag test. I was asking her advice or asking about her challenges with studying and making art with the minimum amount of writings on black art in her day. We were speaking about issues that she faced in people not understanding her work, and she was so free in expressing the need for new people to step up to the plate and write about art. She particularly expressed the need for black people to write about art because in her eyes we need to be more vocal in the arts community. I really felt that so strongly as I've been thinking a lot about that lately. But, she went on to talk about her reasonings for choosing to date outside of her race. I don't exactly remember how the conversation went in that direction but I found her reasons very intriguing. She talked about not wanting black men to make her feel inferior because she wasn't lighter than a brown paper bag. I thought to myself "Wow!" I say this because looking at her I don't see her as being dark, so I wasn't expecting her to actually reference the "brown paper bag" itself. I think it stuck with me because I've been doing a lot of work with brown paper bag so I thought it was amazing to hear her reference that. Unfortunately, we weren't able to finish that convo as I began to tell her that I was dealing with those particular issues in my work. But I walked away thinking "Hmmm...If Renee Cox has experienced anxiety and rejection in regards to colorism than what I'm talking about isn't silly at all." I felt quite compelled to write more about black art after talking to her, though I have been contemplating it more often anyway. I felt that the symposium really left me with alot to think about, and really gave allowed me to see how right my presumptions had been about the way black issues are perceived.

After the sessions there was a presentation by the Wellesley African Student Association that my husband and I did not like at all. There seemed to be an overwhelmingly anti-Christian rhetoric going on which was really quite uncalled for. It seemed to me that these women had a negative connotation for Christianity because of the influence of colonalism on their country. I really felt bad for these ladies, as I can definitely understand how this type of deceptive concept could be misinterpreted. I think it's quite sad that because there were white people who used Christanity as a means to rationalize their motives of trying to take control and dominate other countries, has caused some Africans and other cultures to dismiss Christanity all together. It's just like all the hypocracy within some people in ministry has created difficulty for some non-believers to come to Christ. All of this shouldn't be, because man's sinfulness shouldn't be looked upon as if God wants to see people in pain. This issue is a different blog entry though, but ultimately they brought up some intense issues such as ploygamy, female circumcision, and sexual education in African countries.

And to close out there were performances by Boston-based artist Magadelena Campos-Pons and another artist Dineo from South Africa, who caused some confusion for some of the viewers because she didn't originally come out. However, the presenter did give us a disclaimer that the performance would begin in one place and end down stairs. I guess we weren't listening. On another note, it was a pleasure to speak with the exhibition curator Barabara Thompson, who has now moved on to Stanford University. She has become a truly helpful, and insightful friend since I've met her. It was great to be there to celebrate her hard work, and see how deep being a black woman can be.

Colorism and then some

2008-10-01T04:08:00.000-07:00

This has been a challenging and great time all at once. I'm really enjoying the ability to dig into research because I feel that it is giving me additional ideas for what I'm doing. Right now I'm reading a book called Cane River by Lalita Tademy, that is about "old Louisiana" and the relationship between the French whites(Creole), the gens de couleur libres( the free people of color), and blacks slaves there. Believe it or not but this book was on Oprah's Book Club list! I've been really enjoying it because it gives a very vivid account of the challenges of slave living. In fact this is probably the first book that I've read that details slave life. This is a sad thing I know but it's true. I think sometimes black people feel it's enough to feel the physical pains of slavery and the persecutions of being black every day. But nevertheless, I've been enjoying it because it helps to give more of a picture of how these hardships that you heard from your grandparents, parents, aunts, and uncles played out in this story. What is interesting about Lalita Tademy is that this is actually the story of her family, and how they came to be what they are today. It's heartbreaking and interesting all at the same time, but I'm not quite finished!! I am probably like half done with it. There are many situations that occur in this story that relate heavily with my topic of colorism. Often there were some of her characters that exhibit the behavior, that I've always been told about in the black community. The uppity black folk. In my life people have attempted to put that label on me for whatever reason. I don't understand. Anywho, the main characters are black house slaves who are privileged to live in less harsh conditions than the other field hands. I've been told this story many times growing up about the phenomenon of the "House slaves" and "Field slaves" and how this created division in the black community even then. Particularly, this story shows how some slaves tried to use certain advantages as power because of their closer connections with their masters, in some cases their lighter skin. One of the mulatto children in the story was even instructed to never be in the sun, because she was going to be the one who brought their family out into a better situation. They even told her and each other that she was "better than anyone else". This is quite alarming to me, because it was like all of the stereotypes of the light-skinned slave put into one. But all the less, I'm enjoying the story. It's our history.

As far as my work, I am really enjoying all the exploring I've been doing. It's somewhat scary yet good at the same time. My mentor Ceci, has been really encouraging the investigating in my work as it's becoming more rich. Right now, I'm at a point of looking at how all of my mediums can work together. It will be interes

ting to see how

that happens. These images are examples of me looking

at arrangement and surfaces that can create meaning. In the top image I started to work with flesh tones and it's arrangement, playing with the idea of hierachies of skin tone( which is colorism). My investigation of d

ifferent arrangements were used to question the idea of hierachy in that sense.

The second image is an arrangement of some of the images that I took from the piece that I brought to the last residency, and I arranged

it with text that associates with the flesh tones. Oscar had pointed out a similar connection

at the residency. I plan to do more studies like this with the other spectrums of the colorism system: yellow and red.

The third image is an experiment with painting on tracing paper. I started painting

with flesh tone colors, and had the idea of arranging these papers in order from light to dark to illustrate the typical hierachies of skin tone. It is often thought that in terms of opportunities whether it be career, economical, or socially

lighter skin is considered to come before others of darker skin tone, as was proved in Race, Gender, and the Politics of Skin Tone by Margaret Hunter. So this was an more abstract exploration of this idea.

The fourth image was one that I've contemplated for quite a while, as I began to study the history of colorism. In that study I learned about the various ways that class and priviledge is determined or identified. For example, here I'm investigating the creation priviledged groups such as the Blue Vein Society and procedures like the brown paper bag test. The three images look at the visibility and color of veins which have functioned to determine class in the history of black "high" society, as well as the brown paper bag. Using these two tools together in one composition, I attempted to question the empasis on judgement and comparision in our community. To me it's so crazy that things like the presence of visible blue veins and being lighter than a brown paper bag were used to judge class, but it shows how desperate people have gotten. After much of my study, it seems that colori-

sm has more to do with the oppression from whites than anything else. The psychological damage of slavery and how it affected the way people of African decent began to think of themselves because of their physical and verbal abuse. Colorism during the time of slavery had more to do with survival in the African American community than anything else. It became evident to some that the more connected they were to the white culture the more free or powerful you could become. Meaning you were able to have more opportunities for freedom or to stay connected to your family, which were aspects of life that the typical slave did not have. In Cane River, the house slaves had a better opportunity to stay together because some of them spoke French like their masters because they grew up in the house. If they had mulatto children they were able to negotiate better living arrangements for their families, in addition to opportunities for education and a higher standard of living.

What this has done to the black community as a whole as produced much low self-esteem and bitterness because of the "advantages" of lighter skin. Now in this day in age there are many who compare themselves because of their skin. This brings us onto the last images here.

I've used these to images in my colorism spread because I felt they were the best illustrations of the extreme ideas of this issue. The first image compares the same person in three different skin tones. Here I'm looking at how skin tones are compared, particularly in inner turmoil of one who struggles with the notion "if I was lighter" or "if I was darker." As silly as that sounds there are people who actually feel that way, and this shouldn't be taken lightly. When I was younger I used to think if I was a little darker my black friends wouldn't be so skeptical of me. I wouldn't have to deal with the "light-skin girl is a gold-digger" or "light-skin thinks their better" perception. I saw the way some of my friends who were around the same color interacted with each other. I've noticed that many of them have close relationships with them today. Disagreements between them didn't have the same outcome that my disagreements had. For me I had one strike and I was out. My judgement was much more harsh. My friends who are similar skin tone or lighter ,ironically, I still have associations with regardless of disagreements. This has been a interesting phenomenon to me. The exception of that for me have been friends of mine that I was able to reconcile through Christ, which means that through Christ each party found it within ourselves to forgive and move forward. Those friendships I'm thankful for. It seems to me that in Christ, is where people are truly able to come to grips with these types of issues as it should be.

My reflections from research

2008-09-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

I've been working on the Colorism spread that I brought to the last residency. I've thought a lot about Adam McEwen's comments as well as John Kramer's about making it look more like a magazine spread. So here you have it. It was really great to pull this piece together. I used the same stories that I received from the previous version that I designed. As you might notice, I also worked on some images that I manipulated to display alterations in skin tone. I enjoyed doing this piece a lot, however I know that the next step will be to beyond the stories that I've received. I believe in this series I'll begin to look at various different ways I can comment on issues of "blackness" and colorism in other types of spreads that I've seen in other magazines as well. Aside from this piece I've been working on some other work that is commenting on some of my reading about colorism and the black upper class. This has been a topic of great interest to me, because colorism in general has to do with class. So it's interesting to look at why people think this or that way about skin color because they think they will jeopardize their position in society. So far I've read three books that were very good. "Our Kind of people" by Lawrence Graham which gives a detailed account about the inside world of America's Black Upper Class. It was very interesting as I found there were many parallels in the lives that he described to my own. I've never considered myself to be apart or resemble anything related to being "black elite," but it was interesting to see him outline some of my own activities and accomplishments, such as being a Delta debutant, invited to participate in Jack and Jill, and going to certain churches. All of these things were eye opening for me and helped me to see certain things that I hadn't noticed before. Yet, it was amazing that even then I had no true interest in participating in some of these things better yet not having any idea of what they represented in culture. Many were things I felt were just apart of my growing up process or tradition. I wonder if I had known them if I would have thought differently. As I look at the stories that I complied for this piece I'm reminded that some of them may consider themselves to be outside of the black elite. I wonder how the responses to colorism would be to people who are privileged?My previous studio mentor, Jane Marshing, had suggested that I ask white people about colorism and see what type of response I'd get. I could imagine that it would be a lot like the white people who attended the screening of Black Women On: The Light Dark Thang at the Hood Museum of Art in Hanover, NH, and there was much disbelief and confusion as to why such a system would exist. For some reason there is a denial of what years of negative images illustrating black life could have a emotional psychological effect on a race of people. I feel the reason why colorism is so prominent is because black people haven't been justifiably been able to voice their pain ENOUGH about slavery AND all of the other demeaning acts against our culture. Colorism in essence is the residue of this unfinished injustice and the identity crisis it left upon so many people. Imagine if one message, Black is ugly, disgraceful, and represents savagery, was hammered in your head for over 400 years! This would do a whole lot of damage to people. I think what many people didn't expect is how this damage has passed down constantly over generations of people. One thing I discovered through the stories that I compiled is that these mindsets are often passed down by ourselves. Grandparents, parents, family, friends, are reproducing and reintroducing these ideas in very subtle yet hurtful ways. I know that it's not self-consciously but it's the pain that is being carried. I see it like this: I someone is wounded it doesn't matter how much they want to be healed they are going to squirm when that wound is touched. And what seems to be prominent is the squirming going on in the black community, it is evident that even though slavery is long gone people are still suffering, still bitter, and still self-hating. What will it take to put this all to rest? I'm not sure. But, for me working on these pieces puts me steps closer to understand my own struggle and why I was treated the way I was by my own people. I looked at the book The Blacker the Berry, which was a book I truly enjoyed reading. I feel like I hadn't read this style of book in quite a long time, so it was refreshing. But it appeared to be such a true account of some of the personal inner thoughts that go on in many peoples heads in terms of skin tone. The sad part was to hear the hurtful things that was said about the main character, Emma Lou, who escaped the ridicule of her family to only constantly find more pain everywhere else. The most intriguing read was Margaret Hunter's Race, Gender, and the Politics of Skin Tone which was an extensive study that proved that lighter skin did in fact grant priviledge in the African American community. The most alarming point that she outlined was that the suffering of darker-skinned African American women was in fact greater than those suffered by lighter-skinned African American women. She came to this conclusion from data taken from National Survey of Black Americans, and individual interviews from black women of various different skin tones. She found that not only do darker-skinned African American women suffer from ridicule within their race, they lose out on a significant increase in income, and marriage opportunities. This caused me to look at my own accomplishments and I wonder how things would have been if I were shades darker. Although I've seen many women of darker skin tone who have accomplish many outstanding achievements, I'm not sure if the ratio or percentage is equal. So as you can see there has been much research going on as was suggested at the last residency, and I do feel it's been very helpful. My main hope is that all of this knowledge will produce results.

New stuff

2008-08-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

My life is quite busy right now. I have many things on my plate but they are all very good things.

I'm excited about a number of different

opportunities that have opened up that have the potential to make a positive impact on my career. But aside from that I'm still making work as usual, but you'll notice in this post a number of

different types of work. It's not because I'm going crazy it's just that I'm taking in so much information that there is no "one" way for me to process it all. I felt very confident by a suggestion Stuart Steck made to me about just "trying" things out. Especially because I'm talking about issues within and upon the African American community, all of the research can be very overwhelming. Who would have thought

that something that your really interested in would overwhelm you so much? I didn't. But oh well...I figure that the more that I absorb all of this reading and researching the more that I'll get through this seemingly "lack" of information problem. It's not that I don't appreciate research, it's just that I don't think people realize how emotionally draining it can be. Particularly in my case, because I'm researching various issues of "blackness" that's really painful to dig into. Yet, at the same time I'm enjoying every minute of it. It's a very complex relationship. Nevertheless, here are my processed thoughts that may or may not make sense to you but still please give feedback.

"BlackWomanhood" exhibition at the Hood Museum of Art

2008-08-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I drove out to Hanover, NH, about 2.5 hours from Boston, to see the Black Womanhood exhibition that was being shown at the Hood Museum of Art at Dartmouth College. Not only was it a beautiful drive from the city, but it was well worth the trip. Being the first time that we'd traveled out to New Hampshire together, it was a memorable experience. So what had me driving to Hanover, NH on a Wednesday afternoon? Yes, you guessed it(probably not),not only would I have the opportunity to take a look at this highly anticipated show, but they were also having a Black Womanhood Film Festival. This event would be featuring three films highlighting the issues like colorism and identity within black women, each coming from different perspectives, particularly geographical prospectives differing between black women from Africa, America, and other extensions of the African diaspora. The film that I came to see was Black Women On: The Light Dark Thang by Celeste Crenshaw and Paula Caffey. Never have I seen a documentary that I felt like crying so hard over, like the other two films("Fantacoca" from Africa, Africas by Agnes Ndibi and Perfect Image by Maureen Blackwood) this film expressed the identity struggles of skin tone amongst the African diaspora. There were various different points of views, shades, and representations of Black women sharing their experiences. I felt in so many ways that I shared some of the same experiences they did. I wondered constantly while watching these women, why black women don't talk about these issues more often. It became clear as the film was coming to a close, as the stories were intensifying, the reason why it's not a popular subject amongst most sisters, the pain. With tears one of the women confessed her frustration with the representation of dark-skinned women in black films, the emphasis on this type of woman being considered ugly and the love interest being a lighter-skinned woman. It pained me to see how she identified with this representation, yet it frustrated her so deeply at the same time.

These are similar expressions that the artists upstairs in the main exhibit shared, as they were juxtaposed next to each other as if they were performing an open forum on the intense struggle of being a black woman not just in America, but everywhere. I felt the intensity of each piece as the artist shared their views, their objections, and their conclusions. Some artists were familiar to me, such as artists like Kara Walker,Carrie Mae Weems, Alison Saar, Carla Williams,Renee Cox, Joyce Scott, and Magdalena Campos-Pons. However, there were a great majority of artists who weren't, mostly because some were not African American artists, such as Maud Sulter(whom I was intensely impressed with), Penny Siopis, Malick Sidibe, Berni Searle, Etiye Dimma Poulsen, Ingrid Mwangi/Robert Hutter, Hassan Musa, Wangechi Mutu, Zanele Muholi,Lalla Essaydi, and many others. I felt so engulfed in this mass space of representations that included traditional African art mixed with the new interpretations of contemporary artists. Overall I found the exhibition very helpful for me, and it gave me such a peace to see all of these wonderful black women recognized in one space for their artistic talents. I felt grateful that I was able to see the show up-close-and-personal instead of just looking through an exhibition catalogue(which you know I had to get, thanks to my wonderful husband for adding another wonderful book to my collection!).

Although each of these women and men brought wonderful work to my attention that was so needed for my growth as an artist, I felt most compelled by the works of artists Maud Sulter(Scottish) and Berni Searle. To me their aesthetic decisions were very suggesting to my own style, and things I'd like to accomplish in my work. Particularly with Berni Searle (South African)and her piece Traces(1999, above image), and her use of red, yellow, and brown spices to represent the color texture of skin tones reminded me of images that I did after my first residency that was for me a digital sketch of the divisions of colorism(image below). It reminded me of a flag in some ways, but my intent was to use photo transfers to then make diffentiations between what is considered red, yellow, and brown toned.

When I look at Searle's Traces I see the same divison that I created, and I felt that was so interesting to me that we both orchestrated these color expressions in the same order,( l to r) red, yellow, and black. I wondered what that could have possibly meant(if anything at all), and more importantly I'm interested with how we seemed to see this order so similarly. This makes me think of apartheid, and the divisions that existed there when in it's prominent era. I felt that we were both in a way communicating this systematic structure that seems to remain present even as we try effortlessly to push it away. I also found it interesting that Searle also has a series of works that include images with text, or use text on it's own, which I felt was even more related to my work as well.

With Maud Sulter's Terpsichore(1989, below) I was interested in the staging within her photographs, which was part of a series where she had black women artists posing as muses. I'm intrigued by the idea of digital performance and the presence of movement within my images. I see a relation as the performance artist Della Street in the image is posed as a aristocratic woman, which represents for me a sense of movement physicologically as you feel that you've caught her in the midst of playful suggestions. You know that this is not her normal attire or hair, therefore suggesting the movement that took place to create this mask of identity.

So in a nutshell there was a lot that I gained from the show, in addition to the fact that I met exhibition curator Barbara Thompson, whom I had the opportunity to speak with prior to the last film in the festival. She was extremely knowledgeable about the subject of black women, and it was impressive to see someone with so much passion about the works of these artists. It was inspiring, and I'm glad that I had the chance to converse with her, because she added much insight on how to approach such a broad subject like "Black womanhood." She expressed her concern with the tendency that is placed on the generalized notion of being a "black woman" in society, when there are a number of different expressions that exist. In the case of this exhibit, it proved to show a significant element of geographical difference.

After so much to absorb out of that experience, I walked away not with a totally full impression on what black womanhood was about, but definitely a more well-rounded one. The breakdown of our various different experiences and roles in society, how they affect us, and the representation of ourselves in imagery was what stuck out to me the most. I could really literally go on and on, but I feel empowered by what these women artists have presented. Not just because they are black, but because for the first time in a long time I've been able to engage in art that speaks to my own personal story, experiences, and points of view. So I say great job to these ladies! Maybe one day I'll be joining you to share my perspective.

AIB Residency Summary

2008-08-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

This AIB residency, presented a vast variety of questions concerning my current work. A mass majority would have agreed that the work that I brought to this second residency was completely different from the work I brought to my first residency. This could have been purposely, but justly there were issues that I wanted to confront in my work that I had not received the opportunity to address before this point. It was clear from the last residency that I was perceived as a young artist with much potential, yet lacking focus. Whether I agree with this viewpoint, is another essay but evidently the combination of research and critical theory had an affect on my work.

One of the first comments that I received as I was installing my work within my assigned space was the transformation from my predominately-Christian based work to work addressing issues of identity politics and race. Some thought this was a great move considering the current awkwardness to many discourses on Christianity or religion. It opened my work up to a broader scope, where to my surprise people were readily embracing it. The biggest question was "why colorism?" of all the issues within African-American culture why did I choose to highlight "black upon black" discrimination?

My first critique with Oscar Palacio questioned the "literalness" of my work. To him every thing seemed very much educational and informative, lacking the needed layering and depth to really create a more challenging read. He liked the idea that I was going back into culture to reference class, and suggested that I take a look at the racism studies on bone structure that took place at the International Center of Photography in New York. He saw my work as tapping into a use and need of research that could easily lead me into visual research and art making research based projects. He saw this as an important thread that should be made more evident within my work, and felt that the lack of evidence or presence of research represented in my work caused it to become "didactic." Some of the artists that he suggested where artists like David Levanthol, Laurie Simms, and Ellen Gallagher. He suggested that I read "The Invisible Man"(Ralph Ellison), research "black face minstrels," and watch the film "A Birth of a Nation." Oscar felt that I should continue to collect words that explore notions of class, race, and the consequences of how a larger culture, affects the smaller culture.

This was somewhat contrasting to what my former advisor, Adam McEwen felt. He felt the foundation of my works was very strong and stimulating, however, he felt that there were aesthetic values that I needed to perfect. Particularly he was interested in the huge magazine spread, that he felt was more resembling to a poster. His ernest suggestion was that I tweak the design, research, make the piece look more like an actual People magazine spread. Although my effort was not to make it identical to an actual spread, he felt this accuracy was needed for the piece to be read correctly. Then, it would allow me to tap into what that magazine represents and how it contrasts or relates to the stories I supplied. He also felt that my colors should have been more about skin tones since I was talking about colorism. His overall complaint was that although he felt much of the work was strong, he'd like to see more. He felt that I should push out as many tries as possible and do editing later.

I was encouraged to hear that Jane Avigkos was pleased with the developments in my work, and that I was seeming to take a step in the right direction. My critique with Sunanda Sunyal was very productive and as I expected he had much to say about my current work, which wasn't surprising due to his extensive expertise in African and African American art. Although, it seemed that he was more concerned with the fact that I didn't continue to sit-in on his African American artists history class at AIB this past semester. He didn't attempt to read the work, he spent most of the time demanding that I do more research. He faced me the entire time and only before I mentioned it's neglect did he really attempt to read the work at all. His argument was that the only way I would be able to tackle such topics was with extensive research, which is a point that I well respect. He also felt that it was odd for me to deal with issues of colorism, because in his opinion this was an internal issue. His suggestion was that he would have felt more comfortable if I was dealing with issues of "blackness." He did mention a number of documentaries that were a "must-see" for me, such as "Ethnic Notions," Race the power of an illusion," Family Name," and" A birth of a Nation." Books that he recommended were "The Invisible Man"(Ralph Ellison), "Black Skin/White Mask," "Wretched of the Earth," and novels dealing with racial issues. He hinted that the idea of "lighter is better" comes from a survival instinct, and wasn't an issue that was only prone to African Americans. He spoke of it's existence in other cultures such as India and other Asian cultures. He felt slightly fearful of my discussion of an internalized topic because of the critical attacks that have been directed towards Kara Walker by other blacks in the arts community, in response to the way she represents African American women. He felt this was something I should be aware of, and consider its implications within the African American community.

After speaking with Sunanda later, I had an interesting conversation about my possible interest in connecting the quilt-making that my great grandmother did into my work somehow. He felt that this could be a good thesis project to discover, and felt that I should gather as much information about her as possible. This gathering of information wouldn't require a biographical representation of my great-grandmothers life. He felt it would be more interesting to create a fictional story that used her life as a way of commenting on the historical aspects of the time. He agreed to work with me again this semester to help me to balance my work with the lack of African American art history that is covered in typical art history and critical theory courses.

One of the most helpful critiques was one by John Kramer, whose expertise in design helped me to consider aesthetically how presentation affects the way a work is read. He opted to change my bone piece that originally read: "What is a yellowbone?" to just simply "yellowbone." He also felt that it's proper place shouldn't be lying onto of a tarp on the ground. Even though my analogy of digging up bones had some weight, he felt that the piece should take precedence leaning against the wall. There the piece transformed from looking incomplete to being sculptural. From that point on the piece was read completely different and more affectively without forming a literal question. It also took some of the heavy literal sense from the piece and allowed it to be a questionable thought. He also gave suggestions about the placement of my works, and assisted me to shift things around which made a major difference. One of his most critical takes was upon the magazine spread, as he agreed with Adam that it should have a more professional and crisp aesthetic comparable to an actual magazine. The presence of the title " People Magazine" wasn't enough, and needed the signature look that could be easily recognized as being a spread in People Magazine. His suggestion was that I also do multiple versions of each piece to have more variety.

Then, after meeting with Oscar Palacio again, who was my selected advisor for this semester, we were able to discuss my work in greater depth. He felt that my work needed to show evidence that I had looked closely at other African American women artists like Carrie Mae Weems,Deborah Willis, Renee Cox, and Lorna Simpson. It needed to show exploration with how they approached their work, and critical writings about their work. Just like Adam he felt that researching other African American artists would give me clarity about how I could be more successful. He also felt I should look at the work of Jenny Holtzer, Nancy Sparrow, and Barbara Kruger because of their use of text in their work.

To conclude, evidently there are many avenues that I can direct my work. Over of the course of this semester I've had the opportunity to choose amongst many ideas that are very interesting to me. This may entitle me to compile information on my great-grandmother history to begin a possible journey towards my thesis. Using her life as a doorway into the discourse of the realities and struggles of African American life during her generation. There are also plenty of other opportunities for me to expand the use of text in my work, and determine what may be affective ways of representing text within imagery. Looking at the works of other African American male and female artists I might find myself evaluating their method of communication as a point of reference in my work, such as how Renee Cox used the historic images of black female bodies and stereotypes within the representation of African American women in her work. Another option would involve me picking up where I left off, perfecting the work that I've already done, and creating a larger variety of viewpoints that I can stem from. Research seems to be the ever defining thread between all of these suggestions, and after completing this residency I've learned again, the wealth of information that lies before me. Information that has limitless possibilities and great potential. The task that I face now is staying motivated, and not being overwhelmed by the enormous amount of information that I seem to continuously uncover. As Stuart Steck suggested in our critique, I have to find a way to "spill out my thoughts" from all the endless information that is dumped in my path, and use it as a dumping ground for conceptual thought.

Get ready! Get ready! Get ready!

2008-07-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

So here are the images that I promised. These are pretty raw to me, as I'm investigating the use of text to discuss identity politics. Particularly looking at the works of Lorna Simpson, Barbara Kruger, and Carrie Mae Weems. There is much more to come so be ready!

Let's get it started

2008-07-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

Since the AIB residency I have been making a tremendous effort so far to research, research, research. That was sort of the "word" from most of my faculty that I needed to do more studying and more work. I also needed to look more closely at the works of other African American women artists like myself to understand more specifically why they made certain decisions.

It's becoming more clear to me now, how 'unliberal" it can feel being a black female artist. Because there is so much pressure to do this and not do that. If I'm too literal and too open about the stereotypes I might be outcasted by my own, much like how many in the Black community have viewed Kara Walker's work. If I'm not literal enough there isn't much impact at all. So I find myself caught in between a rock in a hard place. There is a huge battle to either just be myself or else no one including myself will get anything out of this.

Recently, I've been watching various videos on Lorna Simpson and Faith Ringgold and it's very interesting to see how different, yet similar they present their art. And somehow I believe the difference in their generation has a great influence. Lorna Simpson using photography, film, installation, and text; Faith Ringgold using painting, quilts, and text. Particularly, I was impressed by them both in how they articulated their process, and which steps in the process are most important for them than others.

For Lorna Simpson while producing the "Public Sex" series it wasn't the image making that is most tasking, it was the printing process; the tediousness, perfectionist process of silkscreen printing her photographic images on felt. I also enjoyed watching her work with the printer to push out all of her images in time for her exhibition. While Faith Ringgold on the other hand shared the harsh realities of being a black female art student in a all-white art school, which sounded all too similar to my own experiences. She had a painting or drawing teacher who told her that she "couldn't" be an artist, and it was at that point that she fought harder to be one. The cleverness in which she choose her medium, quilts, to make it easier, convenient, and economical to be shown in galleries. I took all of that in and it put so many things into perspective for me.

Also, I've been studying about these criticism behind their work and it's mind boggling the depth that can be read behind their images. Oscar called my work "didactic" and too literal, where it didn't allow for multiple readings. When I look at my work I don't know if I see that ,but I can understand why he would say that. I conclude that I worked really hard to make sure that people were able to understand my intent that I didn't leave any space in between. I began to feel that no matter what I did, my work would be interpreted differently and labeled as simply work from a black female artist. I don't believe when I started doing art that I felt it would be that way. I believe I felt that art was this sort of "liberal" and "expressive" world that was down for whatever I had to say. I never imagined that I would be discriminated against, that I would have dealt with the issues I have. Issues of how people preceive the " black female body." I think of some of my early black & white images of black women in dark situations, with one lighting source and I wonder how people w0uld read them. Then, I had no knowledge of the issues dealing with "blackness" in art. Now it seems that my earlier work was more loaded then I thought. Even in my "Covered" series I'm starting to see the implications that I didn't realize were there.

So as I continue on I've purposed to take as much out of these experiences and information as possible. I've started to work on some new images using typography that I will be uploading soon, which will be my attempt to "vomit" some of this information that I've had to take in. It's been a process, and I do believe that I'll be taking many more photographs and designs. I plan to continue on with the bone pieces as well, but there is so much depth there that I want to explore. So everybody get ready.

Black Heritage:Quilting in the Family

2008-06-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

Image:Presenting Grandma Malinda's Quilt at the Wade/Johnson Family Reunion. One of the things that I recall from Sunanda's African-American Artist History class is the tradition of quilting and furniture making in African-American culture. I also having being reading a book entitled African-American women artists, and quilting was a traditional format of creative expression for female slaves that has carried out to the current culture of African-American women. What I didn't know is that my great-grandmother Malinda Harper was a well-known quilter(And I wonder why I like to work with my hands). So I've posted a image my mom recently sent me of a quilt that my great-grandmother had done which was presented at our recent family reunion. I was totally blown away. I always knew that my family had a very artistic background, but it is interesting to know to what degree. I also discovered that she used to make the communion bread at her local church(somehow this explains a lot for me too). So I believe going towards the next residency I would like to use the idea of quilting as a inspiration. Perhaps using the pattern formality of quilting to reference and speak about social issues within the African American culture. I still would like to address colorism because I feel like there was so much that I wanted to do this past semester but didn't because of time constraints so I feel I'm going to lay it all out this semester. I actually did take quite a few photographs this semester for a side piece that I was working on, and I will hopefully bring some of the images to the residency if I can. But for now things are going to get interesting. I have a crit with Sunanda tomorrow and I really don't know what to expect from him. We'll just have to see... I'll let you know what happens:)

The Big Layout on Colorism

2008-06-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

To all that contributed their stories to my colorism project, I just wanted to show you all what I was able to put together with all your wonderful text. Looking at this image it's hard to define the scale but it's a 40x60 magazine spread on the affects of colorism. After I put together this piece, I found a recent article in Bookforum entitled Voices Carry by writer Lawrence Hill that pretty much sums up the relevance of this approach.He quotes Henry Louis Gates in his review of Andrew Ward's The Slave's War: The Civil War in the Words of Former Slaves. He quotes Gates' theory that "life stories" are the most important statement a black author can make to illustrate the African-American experience, and the tradition of story-telling in the African-American community. Magazines are ways inwhich ideas are communicated, and shared. So in this piece I choose to display the stories that were contributed as a artistic approach of publishing the need of voices to speak and expose the pain that the issues of colorism has caused. I was very amazed and blown away by all of the stories, particularly because most of the people here have a close connection to me whether a childhood friend or family member. It was amazing that eventhough we all held close relationships we never were able to communicate this sort of inner turmoil, yet at the same time coming to grips and loving ourselves all at the same time. It's truly remarkable. I believe that this piece also address the idea of publishing as a platform where people feel either comfortable or uncomfortable about expressing their opinions and thoughts. Please let me know what you think.

Delayed but not Denied

2008-06-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

Images: Top, AIB residency space. Second, Being Black1,93 mixed media illustrations

on index cards, 2008. Third, What is a yellowbone?installation, artificial bone,clay, and glue on painter's linen.2008

So I know that these images are long overdue, but I attribute it too my perfectionism with images and the way they are displayed. Anywho, here are images from the colorism piece that I've been working on. They are images taken while here at the AIB residency, but I figure it's better late than never. Some of my group mates complained about the lack of images on my blog so here ya go! I'll be sure to overwhelm everyone next time with images.

So far I've received one crit at the residency and to my surprise it was mentioned that the work is too "literal." An opposite to what I received last residency, but I was told it was attributed to the religious notions in my previous works. I'm not sure how I perceive that entirely, but I do think it's interesting. I've always wanted to use text in my work, however I knew I would receive a lot of flack for not using any photography like I did last residency. I definitely would like to combine the too, but I think it was definitely necessary to go to this extreme so that I can strip away.Because as my studio mentor told me, I had enough content but just needed to express the content. I'm glad that Oscar Palacio is going to be my faculty advisor this semester.He deals with issues of race in his work, and I know he enjoys this type of work. The tricky part will be to find a studio mentor that will be able to work with me this semester. There have been plenty of suggestions, but we will have to see.Well enjoy and until next time...

Soon and very soon

2008-05-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

It has been a terribly long time since I've posted an entry, however, this doesn't mean I haven't been busy getting things together. I can't believe its almost that time again. It's almost residency time. It's a weird feeling because the first residency wasn't the best experience to me, but I'm hoping that this one will be better the second time around.

A lot has transpired during the past months. I've been doing quite a bit of reading and researching on the topic of colorism. In addition, I've been learning a wealth of information concerning black art history. This is a interesting term because it isn't used very much in your typical art history class. However, I find this information very useful to help me sort through the fact that many black artists nor their art are not included in many mainstream art history writings.

More contemporary art historians have commented of their existence but I've learned much more through studying the writings of popular African-American art historians like Sharon Patton and Richard Powell. I have to be honest when I say that these two writers have inspired me greatly through this process. I sat in Sunanda's African-American artists course for the first couple of months, yet found myself not feeling inspired only sadden at the fact that it was the first time I had ever heard of many of these African-American artists. It just seems pitiful that their names are hardly recognized or mentioned in the big scheme of things.

One thing that I pondered while in Sunanda's class was whether people really care to hear the experiences and input of artists of African descent. It's alarming to see how many artists were never recognized for their skill-level. Though this clearly shows the grim times they lived in. I say this not implying that things are so perfect now. I do feel that progress has been made through the years. It seems like our voices are more readily heard in Europe and some parts of this country, depending on the curatorial schedules of many museums. As long as the contemporary art world continues to be experimental in nature and open to various different points of view, I believe there will always be a place where everyone of every culture or gender can be heard. At least that is the hope.

This thought has transferred into my recent works, in that I hoped to put together a number of different thoughts that speak on a central idea. I am happy that I've been able to accomplish all that I have so far. Just a little longer to go! Jane Marshing has been great and the best mentor I could have picked in this first semester. Adam McEwen has also been great. You can also tell when something is going to be good, because the beginning starts off rocky. He has been very helpful in keeping my thoughts in order, and I'm glad that he is excited about my idea.

What am I working on? I'm putting the finishing touches on the yellow bone piece. I initially thought of having this piece on the wall, but then decided that the context fit better at a lower point of view. I've used artificial bones to proclaim a question in regards to the way terminology is used in the African-American culture. Using self-drying clay and glue I've been able to create a archaic feeling of discovering something from of old that is being brought to the light. I still have some additional photographs that I would like to take this week, and I just finished compiling all of the stories and experiences from family members, friends, and associates on the affects of colorism. I decided months ago that I wanted to use their stories to put together a very special piece incorporating their written words. I've done something similar with the Covered series, but this time its not including photography to explain them. This time I've decided to let the words speak for themselves. Sometimes its best to keep it simple. This is very important to me because I've always wanted to incorporate the lives of people that I encounter and their experiences in my work. I'm a person who really finds joy in seeing how people overcome various issues in their lives, and in my on artsy way I want to be able to share those same stories to others so that they might be encouraged as well. Well I think that was a good enough update for now. Until next time!

All is well

2008-02-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

So far so good... I had a productive meeting with my studio mentor, Jane Marsching, this week and I have a lot to work on. It's very motivating, especially now that my studio is all ready to go. Jane felt that it would be good to focus on one thing at a time for now, because it would help me to be more productive. And obviously the best thing is to do is more readings. She felt it was good that I am sitting in Sunanda Sanyal's African American Artists class. Unfortunately, I had to miss it this week because of work, but I'm blessed to find a art history student in class that is willing to fill me in.

One thing that we talked awhile about was the existence of colorism in fashion advertisements. I know this is something that is commented within many columns about the subject. I find it very interesting that there are a lot of articles talking about colorism in African-American magazines. It seems to hint on what I"m trying to discuss within my work. Its altogether fascinating and amazing that events are in sync with my project. I have to be honest... It doesn't get any better than that. Better yet, Spike Lee's School Daze, the movie that was highly request in my academic research was highlighted in Vibe magazine's Feb 08 issue (Back in the Daze by Keith Murphy). There was an extensive interview on Spike Lee and the rest of the cast about the movie and how it was such a huge statement during the late eighties. So of course this is going to be my next assignment. I'm going to be looking at it in reference to my project. Another interesting article was in Ebony magazine's Feb 08 issue Two Sides: Do Light-Skinned Black people Have an Advantage?. This was a very interesting article because it gave perspectives of a light-skinned journalist and that of a dark-skinned journalist. Both of these two women brought very powerful point of views. If anyone is interested in this subject you should check it out. Well... as I said again there is much I need to do so I'll update more later.

Next week

2008-02-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited because next week will be my first meeting with my studio mentor, Jane Marsching. You can check out her website at www.janemarsching.com. I really believe she is going to be great for me this semester, I'm sure I'll have lots to report after my meeting with her.

Residency Summary

2008-02-01T20:52:00.000-08:00

The MFA in Visual Arts low residency was full of colorful suggestions. Most suggestions came after my point of focus was established. During the following semester issues of colorism in African-American culture will be addressed, and confirms that its affects produce division. During the residency there were many suggestions that provided a basis of conversation for future works.

At the residency most of the works presented vocalized a variety of different statements, which caused much confusion and questioning of my focus for future works. Considerate suggestions were made about how to arrange and rearrange works for future residencies. Display is an important element for the accessibility of art, so one strategy for this semester will require sensitivity in this area.

The abstract painterly quality in the Seven Sisters series was admired by many critique group members. Out of all of the works shown it was one of the strongest pieces suggested. Though the series was done through photographic medium, many felt this style could suggest success with actually pursuing painting. Another suggestion was to take photographs and paint over the images. Other good points were to study the spiritual in abstract art, or studying the street photography of German photographers. Many also suggested that the images show more detail, it was argued that the images could have taken place anywhere. The next concept to think about is creating images that show more characteristics of the area. Adam McEwen was the only one at the residency who identified the subject of the images being from England. However, he also felt that it seemed more like an exercise than a conceptual piece.

The Covered series was more unclear to most people at the residency, and it was suggested that the concepts within the piece be broken down into more simpler, identifiable forms. As a conceptual piece it deemed more important that the ideas be more visual than symbolic, and that the works be presented more accessible to everyday people. The Christian themes within the piece, as well as other pieces, were seen as a barrier to some. Discreet, non-suggestive titles were suggested to allow the images to be more accessible to those who aren’t Christian.

Jan Avgikos felt it was interesting that the models in the Covered series looked so similar to the artist. As a black woman in the program, she felt that there were concepts that I could contribute to examine diversity issues in the art world. She felt that there were subliminal messages that were speaking through this series. Messages that weren’t relative to the original intent and concept of the piece. She also felt that the digital paintings, Spiritual Warfare, were the strongest pieces. There seemed to be an opportunity to expound on this particular medium to facilitate ideas. Also, it appeared that digital art and video would allow me the use of a variety of skill sets. Such a project would give opportunities to build a set, sculpt certain objects, and merge them within one piece. This was determined to be an effective way to communicate narrative themes that my work has covered.

At the conclusion of the residency numerous suggestions in regards to African-American artists were made in reference to my independent study plan. Majority of those suggested were African American women who have dealt with similar issues of race and skin tone in their works. Among them were Kara Walker, Carrie Mae Weems, Adrian Piper, Lorna Simpson, David Hammons, Mona Hatoum, Byron Kim, Faith Ringhold, Maureen Fleming, Bell Hooks, and Ellen Gallagher. It was also suggested that I sit in on Sunanda Sanyal’s course on campus called, “African American Artists: The Harlem Renaissance through the Civil Rights Movement.”

Recommended Readings:

Location of culture / Homi K. Bhadha.

Orientalism / Edward W. Said.

David Hammons by Kellie Jones, Interview

Film: School Daze by Spike Lee

Progressing Along

2008-01-31T05:06:00.000-08:00

I finally feel as though things are starting to push off... Now the next step is to get going. Right now I'm feeling very inspired and can sense that this is the best time to start sketching, and get all of my ideas on paper. I've very excited that I may have found a studio mentor, Jane Marsching, who actually is in the area. After talking with her I know more ideas will start to flow. I also think its perfect that she is familiar with my MFA program, which I feel will be a great benefit for me.

Everyone knows I'm working on something, because I started to ask alot of my family and friends about the topic of my piece. Its a normal practice that I do when I'm getting ready to work on a project. I've started to ask everyone around me what they think about the affects of colorism or their personal experiences. My mom has even started to forward links that would be helpful, thats when you know you have a support system. I don't know how many families are that supportive of artists in their families, but I'm blessed. I've gotten such great response from everyone, and I didn't realize how the subject of colorism would hit home for some many people around me. Originally it seemed like it would be impactful but I'm starting to realize how important it is. Having everyone's participation is very wholesome for me because it helps me to stay grounded, and I feel alot more confident and connected to what I'm doing. There are many layers that I feel I'm uncovering and there is so much that I can say. Now I'm just choosing my words wisely.

Here we go now

2008-01-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

I have to say that things are starting to heat up quickly. After the residency I made a decision about where I wanted to go for the the rest of the semester. But even better... the rest of the program. But I will just give a hint of what's to come. No need to overwhelm everyone with all of my ideas. I definitely will start with one thing at a time. Though I do find myself inspired by the littlest things.

I will be dealing with discrimination within the African-American culture through colorism. Some may not be familiar with the word, but it deals with discrimination within a particular culture or race of people because of skin tones. It's a subject that hits me quite personally, and I'm sure that there are many other people of color who have experienced the same. The goal is to look at the African-American culture more specifically because it's what I personally know, but the bigger picture is to question what colorism does to culture. It is also important to address how discrimination still raises its ugly head in many ways. I'm really excited about this project and how found its been very life changing for me already.

As a african-american woman I've found myself caught between the fire of colorism since a young girl. To address these hidden issues have not only been healing for me, but very mind provoking. I am aware that people "perish" for lack of knowledge. I soon became aware that by not addressing affects of colorism in my own life that I wasn't truly allowing myself to be me. To tell a story that relates to me but is not about me. So this semester will highlight this heavy research. I don't see it as a self-expression piece. I realize that there are many people within my culture that can identify with what I want to say, and I think its wise to communicate something that is understandable to me as well as others.

It was suggested that I take a class on African- American artist history this semester, which by the way is a miracle!! I have to be honest in saying that I'm impressed with AIB for its inclusion of cultural arts. There really are not many classes with that title, at least in my experience at art schools. A friend and I almost protested this issue at our art school in Texas, but both found ourselves studying in Europe. Which ironically many black artists evidently did according to my african american artist class . How scary!!! I knew that I felt more comfortable studying in Europe (mostly because I didn't have to answer questions about why my subject was a black person) but I didn't realize how many other artists in history had experienced this same abuse in similar ways. Nevertheless, it has been by far the most captivating art history class I've ever had. There are mainly many artists that I have never heard of (at this point) that look and speak (visually and artistically) very similiarly to me. I was almost mad that this type of course is only offered every 2 years. But then I looked around the classroom and noticed that many of the other students weren't as interested in the subject as much as I was. Perhaps because I find it liberating to see work produced by people within my own culture( which doesn't happen very often), and to others it just didn't relate. That could be another essay all by itself. But in other words, I have discovered more layers that certainly can be addressed. Honestly, I'm excited to be talking about it.

A new start

2008-01-16T11:59:00.000-08:00

What can I say... Its alittle weird to be publishing my thoughts on the web. I'm very use to the art of journaling yet this is definitely the start of something new. But I'm definitely looking forward to using this blog as a tool to help me communicate to others. My advisor, Adam McEwen says that I communicate more clearly through my writing than when I speak. I don't know if thats a complement or if I should feel iffy about that.lol. But anyway its great to be back to normal after spending 10 days at the Art Institute of Boston's low residency MFA program in Visual Arts. It definitely took alot out of me, and was extremely frustrating. I believe most of it was because I didn't know what to expect nor what was expected of me. You live and you learn.

I am very excited about this semester because I'm working on a project that is very close to my heart. I'm looking forward to the next residency and showing what I'm truly made of.